Although we've not officially met yet, already you have changed my life so much. You have made me start thinking and saying grownup stuff like "my firstborn" and "we need to get a car seat."
I can barely see my toes, and spend as much of my sitting down time with my feet up as I can because they are swollen.
Your papa and I keep having the same conversations, wondering what things will be like, marveling at how fast time has gone. Feeling kind of scared because we hear it only goes faster. I said Sunday that I feel like I'll wake up tomorrow and be a grandmother. Only two short years ago, I had never even considered marrying your papa, and our wedding was only nine months ago. How long ago that seems, and yet only yesterday.
You're due in two weeks, but you could come any time now, really. It'd be nice to be done with school first, but I can't wait to meet you. What will you look like? We don't know what a Cornwell baby looks like. Will you look like your papa? Will you look like a Beerbower? It seems you must have a look I cannot quite imagine yet. Will you be chubby or skinny? You seem like a quiet, well-behaved little baby. Will you be a happy baby like your cousin Keith? Will you be as adorable?
And I wonder most of all, are you a boy or a girl? How different our lives will be depending on the answer!
There are lots of questions. I wonder what labor will be like for me, and what your birth story will be.
You've already changed my life in so many ways. I cannot even imagine how you will in the future. You change how others see me. No longer will we be just a young couple. We'll be parents. Those we meet after the next few weeks will think of us as a young family. I will be categorized as a mom.
And we don't know how much we don't know. How naive are we? We wonder sometimes if some of the things we think are because we just don't know or because we will be different parents than others we see. The one thing I do know is that I don't know.
But for now, I'm not worried. Just waiting, wondering. And a little scared, when I think about how big an impact what we do will have on you.
It's appropriate that this is the first post on the new blog. Because you're starting a new era in our lives.
